This associate of Scranberry Coop almost considered ending this bit here, but instead let’s dive a bit further into why pumpkin spice latte is so basic. According to Business Insider, “To be basic in the era of Pumpkin Spice Latte means to be lacking in creativity or aggressively mainstream and feminine… a term ‘some women were using it to describe other women who they didn’t think had interesting taste.'” & while pumpkin spice latte may have been innovative back in 2003 when it was first unleashed upon the world, it is now 16 years old. Yes, your hypothetical favorite or frowned upon drink is as old as Evanescene’s “Bring Me To Life,” Beyonce’s “Crazy in Love,” & Outkast’s “Hey Ya!” I myself was in the NINTH GRADE. Every decade we see significant cultural shifts, & Pumpkin Spice Latte is clearly a relic of an… interesting… time in history.

But it’s more than that. There is a Starbucks in the town where I live, & I definitely can count the number of times I have personally bought something from that store, & it was usually because I was with someone who was… lacking in creativity. & yes, I did actually drink a pumpkin spice latte, so this isn’t a “Green Eggs & Ham” scenario… & it’s… alright. Is is worthy of defining Autumn? No. Is it worth it’s approximately $5 price tag? No. If someone decided to basically throw away $5 to buy me a drink, then yes I would drink it, but if I had the chance to interject, I would suggest a dozen or more stores within one block of that Starbucks to spend that $5. Instead of loading me up on sugar, maybe load me up on some pizza instead.

So we know that Pumpkin Spice Latte is basic, overpriced, & overhyped, so why is pumpkin spice latte a cultural phenomenon then? Probably because Starbucks is quite literally everywhere, with over 25,000 stores as of 2016, & it’s the consequence of a mega corporation mass producing their image & branding everywhere, shoving out mom & pop coffee shops around the country. To every Instagram or Facebook user that posts a picture with their Pumpkin Spice Latte: Congratulations, you are providing Starbucks even more advertising that it honestly does not need at this point… Oh & by the way, only a select few social media influencers are actually sponsored & compensated by Starbucks, all the other imitators are doing this for free.

I could probably write an entire college thesis on how corporate capitalism seeks the utter assimilation of culture, but instead I would like to kindly remind you that it is places like the Scranberry Coop that facilitate unique forms of self expression through the 150+ dealers we work with. We encourage everyone to be themselves, try new things, & ultimately bring something new to the table, so feel free to visit us & see what we have to offer. We guarantee that it will be more interesting & varied than Pumpkin Spice Lattes.

PS: There is at least one Scranberry Coop employee that loves her Pumpkin Spice Lattes. Despite the tone of this article, we are super appreciative of your work & loyalty to us. Is this an intervention? No… maybe just something to think about. ;)