- Father: Do you know, most people don’t have to work today, because it’s Labor Day.
Son: If people are not working, shouldn’t we call today ‘No-Labor Day?’
- Did you hear the one about Labor Day?
It works for me!
- If a train station is where the train stops, and a bus station is where the bus stops, what is a work station?
- If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend.
- ‘I’m never going to work for that man again.’
‘Why, what did he say?’
Footnote: We are struggling to find good Labor day jokes, so if you find any, please write and let us know.
So instead, here’s a first person report of someone who was trying to find success in the job market:
- My first job was in an orange juice factory, but I couldn’t concentrate on the same old boring rind, so I got canned.
- Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe.
- After that, I tried working in a donut shop, but I soon got tired of the hole business.
- I manufactured calendars, but my days were numbered.
- I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn’t suited for it.
- I took a job as an upholsterer, but I never recovered.
- Next I tried working in a car muffler factory, but that was exhausting.
- I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn’t cut it.
- Then I was a pilot, but tended to wing it.
- I became a Velcro salesman, but I couldn’t stick with it.
- I tried my hand at a professional career in tennis, but it wasn’t my racket. I was too high strung.
- I became a baker, but it wasn’t a cakewalk, and I couldn’t make enough dough.
- I was a masseur for a while, but I rubbed people the wrong way.
- I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.
- Then I became a personal trainer in a gym, but they said I wasn’t fit for the job.
- I thought about being a historian, but I couldn’t see a future in it.
- Next I was an electrician, but I found the work shocking and revolting, so they discharged me.
- I tried being a teacher, but I soon lost my class.
- I turned to farming, but I wasn’t outstanding in my field.
- I took a job as an elevator operator. The job had its ups and downs, and I got the shaft.
- I sold origami, but the business folded.
- I took a job at UPS, but I couldn’t express myself.
- I tried being a fireman, but I suffered burnout.
- I became a banker, but I lacked interest and maturity, and finally withdrew from the job.
- I was a professional fisherman, but I couldn’t live on my net income.
- I next worked in a shoe factory, but I just didn’t fit in. They thought I was a loafer, and I got the boot.
- I worked at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.
- So I’ve retired, and I find I’m a perfect fit for this job!
Courtesy of Guy Sports.
Scranberry Coop will not be held liable for any consequential face palms from reading post, but feel free to come visit us during business hours, or at our next Flea Market on September 2nd! :)