Very soon many people will be throwing a turkey in the oven & serving it to their guests, but let me be the first to say it for everyone; the turkey is often way too bland & dry! Yes, the main course of Thanksgiving dinner is often the least flavorful & don’t tell me to “just put the gravy & sauces on it afterwards” because in that case, I’d rather put all the fixings on something else with more flavor! This problem is further compounded due to the emphasis on being “thankful” on Thanksgiving Day, which in this case makes everyone “look at the bright side of things” and way too polite to insult the host with this honest critique! Or perhaps you yourself low-key knew the entire time that the turkey you made was dry, but “it’s tradition” so you make it anyways! Well lucky you, this associate of Scranberry Coop has five ways you can to bypass this problem, in order of increasing difficulty, so that you can break the cycle of dry & bland turkeys on turkey day!

Breast Down Turkey

We get it; maybe cooking isn’t your forte or maybe you’re a busy individual. Fine. If you care about the taste buds of yourself & your guests in the slightest bit, if you’re just going to rub the turkey with x, throw a turkey into oven in a pan of x, & just walk away, at the least cook the turkey breast down. That way you can at least avoid all the moisture escaping the white meat, which is usually the blandest part of it all. Disclaimer: if you don’t care enough, you should just have someone else cook the turkey for you.

Bacon Wrapped Turkey

Okay, so you know that temperatures that exceed 165-170 degrees Fahrenheit will dry out your turkey & other basic turkey protocol, & you want to cook your turkey face up. Cool, then in that case, wrap the turkey in bacon. Who doesn’t love bacon! Bacon on the outside, bacon juices seeping into the insides, more bacon flavor! Disclaimer: I know that bacon is not considered kosher & therefore is not loved by everyone.

Beer Can Turkey

Think about it for a second; if you stuff a turkey with dry uncooked stuffing & you let things run its course, by the time the center stuffing is ready, congratulations, driest turkey ever. But if you instead stuff it with something that will instead moisturize your turkey from the inside out, then bam, moist turkey! So take a beer can, shove it in there, & then have a beer knowing that your turkey will be great! Disclaimer: It is not as easy as shoving a beer can in there, & you should most certainly look up instructions on how to do this.

Brined Turkey

So you have more time on your hands for preparation & want to go the extra mile for yourself & your guests. Great! Get a giant bag, throw the turkey in the giant bag, fill it with your secret brine concoction, & let the turkey soak in all those juices before throwing it in the oven! Disclaimer: Choosing your liquids & spices carefully  will be the difference between your guests thanking you & or… well not.

Deep Fried Turkey

So you really want to super extra, super cavalier, a champion that impresses everyone with your potential insanity! Awesome! Get that oil, get that drum, get that turkey, & join us on the dark side, very far away from anything remotely considered healthy! Feel free to use the word y’all as you are outside ensuring that you do not cause a fire or explosion in your backyard! But if you’re open to this idea, perhaps you are okay if there was a little bit of destruction… Disclaimer… Wait, if you’re down for this idea, you won’t listen to it.